Festival season is back, and as always, it kicks off with one of the most anticipated events of the year, Coachella.
All your favourite influencers and celebrities are pooled together in one tiny corner of the Californian desert, for two glamorised weekends showing off the true BNOCs of the musical world. Everyone wants to be there, but we doubt our student loans will stretch far enough to cover the thousands of dollars we’d have to splash on a Coachella ticket.
Plus, the drinks prices would definitely not be on par to £2.50 doubles in The Scholar, unfortunately.
Each of Coachella’s 144 performers come with a gaggle of devoted super fans each slotting into their own fan base, and forming their own unique identities – which got us thinking. If the performers at Coachella went to university in Liverpool, which societies would they and their fans seamlessly blend into?
Charli XCX – Hockey
Charli XCX on the girls hockey team? It weirdly makes sense. She’s got the energy and the attitude. She may not be known for her stick ability, but she commands attention and would definitely be recruited to become the social sec.
Charli XCX would love pub golf, and definitely insist on getting a drink at every Irish pub in Concert Square. The team’s pre-match playlist would be unmatched, which makes up for her missing practice to attend the Met Gala. She is the secret weapon no hockey team knew it needed, but once she joins, they couldn’t imagine a game without her. Plus, her loyalty to her friends is undeniable, imagine seeing Billie Eilish, Troye Sivan and Lorde cheering on the girls at Wyncote.
Megan Thee Stallion – Equestrian Society
First thing’s first, she’s literally a stallion. Her name alone gets her though the door of equestrian society. She carries herself with the confidence, discipline and has the posture to succeed. She’d have the best horse riding playlist too, and bring the vibes to every meeting.
Sammy Virji – Chess Club
Imagine the atmosphere Sammy Virji would bring to a chess club. Every time a pawn moves, the bass drops and smoke machines blare. If there’s one way the chess club can put their names on the map, it’s by turning every game into a warehouse rave and recruiting some DJs to bring the vibes.
Lady Gaga – Knitting Society
Our beloved icon Lady Gaga may be known for her theatrical and highly inspired style, and incredible performances at the Super Bowl and her Chromatica Ball tour, but it’s safe to say her creative juices would be flowing at knitting society.
Her reputation for making extravagant and often shocking choices in fashion may lean more towards ideals fashion society, but that’s too obvious for Lady Gaga. Knitting society is where it’s at. This might be seen as an outlandish choice, but her creativity and bold risk taking would be a perfect addition to the society – plus, everyone needs some me time. As a self-proclaimed introvert, knitting provides the perfect escape from the world and allows for her creativity to flourish. Let’s be real, nothing screams avant-garde like knitting a meat dress.
Green Day – Amnesty International
Green Day would fit perfectly into the Amnesty International society at the University of Liverpool. The band are OGs when it comes to political activism and sticking it to the authorities, meaning they totally embody the entire spirit of Amnesty International society.
Their rebellious spirit would add energy to the human rights campaigns the society work on, and their powerful tribute to Palestine during their Coachella performance last weekend slot them straight into Amnesty International’s good books at university. We can’t quite imagine them playing The Cellar or The Jacaranda though, sadly.
Beabadoobee – Cocktail Appreciation Society
Beabadoobee has the effortlessly cool vibes of someone who can scout out a good Aperol Spritz, and never resorted to necking a bottle of Echo Falls at pres in first year. She would join the society at the start of the year to make friends, but now finds herself in the smoking area of every bar chatting to strangers and smoking other people’s cigarettes.
She’d easily become the society’s president within a couple of months, and everyone across campus would recognise her style. It might be a niche society, but she takes it in her stride.
Jennie and Lisa – Netball
As every competitive team member knows, everyone is out for themselves when it comes to sports societies.
The K-Pop band BLACKPINK previously performed at Coachella as a united group, but this year Jennie and Lisa both performed solo, each on different stages. This fighting attitude would definitely boost them up the ranks on their course netball team.
Their bandmates Rose and Jisoo cheered them on from the sidelines – they have a bond like no other and definitely all lived in the same flat in Greenbank in first year. These girls would become a team who nail their footwork, avoiding contact and obstruction penalties. Imagine the intimidation factor. Their opponents would be hit with full glam, perfectly synchronised warm ups and insanely fashionable uniforms.
They may not stick to tactics, but they definitely stick in everyone’s heads.
Post Malone – Wine and Cheese Society
Post Malone would definitely enjoy splashing his student loan on a glass of merlot, even if he’s on a society pub crawl in The Flute. Nobody would appreciate a good cheese and wine pairing like he would, and he’d always bring the atmosphere to their meetings when he rocks up with an acoustic guitar every week. His sad songs would cause quite an emotional scene after everyone’s a few glasses deep.
Post Malone would love jazz night down at The Grapes, and would always carry a pack of cards his back pocket – just in case.
Artemas – Coding and Robotics Society
Artemas would fit right into the Coding and Robotics society, mostly because he gives off major ‘mysterious guy in the back of a Brodie Tower lecture theatre’ vibes.
His moody and deep tracks show that he’s probably no stranger to late night internet deep dives and hours spent typing away at his computer. He would definitely write complex coding scripts just for fun, and while he might not say much at the society meetings, everyone would be quite intrigued by his poetic style and complicated terminology.
So, what would you do if you saw Post Malone and Charli XCX on a pub golf crawl in The Sphinx?
